


Sucre

by mezzosaka



Category: Ensemble Stars! (Video Game)
Genre: Fake/Pretend Relationship, M/M, OCs used as plot devices LOL, Valentine's Day
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-29
Updated: 2018-06-29
Packaged: 2019-05-30 10:25:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,336
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15094772
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mezzosaka/pseuds/mezzosaka
Summary: “You’re here to gain attention from that woman?” Souma asked in a harsh whisper as soon as the sweet waitress, Rin, walked away. “By using me?”“It sounds harsh when you say that I’m using you.” Kaoru pouted as if he was doing anything but using Souma. “But essentially.”





	Sucre

**Author's Note:**

> this one is alternatively titled "help, almost all of my kaosou oneshots end up having french words as the titles and i don't know how to stop it"
> 
> i intended to finish this one in time for valentine's day, but i was also quite busy working on a show around that time, so this ended up on the backburner for a while (this is so sad alexa play honey milk wa okonomi de)
> 
> but i got a burst of inspiration and now it's done!!! and sickeningly sweet!!! please enjoy!

Kaoru was faced with a problem, and when Kaoru was faced with a problem, he had to find the _absolute easiest_ way to solve that problem. No matter the cost.

Today’s problem? Today’s problem was tomorrow’s problem, too.

Kaoru wouldn’t call himself desperate. It was just that there was this girl he’s been chasing for a while now, and she landed herself a job at a local café. Which was fine, as Kaoru made it his new favorite café, but he never seemed to be there when she was working. Which was also fine—or at least Kaoru always told himself that it was fine—but Kaoru _really_ needed to gauge her interest fast before _he_ lost interest. And what better time to do it than on Valentine’s Day?

And that was the problem. Cute cafés were _always_ busy on Valentine’s Day, and this one would be especially busy since they were running a special couple's café. Which meant it was couples _only_ , which means Kaoru couldn’t get in without a date. And that was definitely fine—after all, she seemed like the type of girl who liked a chase, so appearing taken might get her a little fired up.

But Kaoru didn’t have a date at all. It’s weird to ask girls out for Valentine’s Day because it seems a little too serious, but Kaoru couldn’t just go with a guy, after all. So he had gone through his contact list, narrowing it down to about five girls that would be okay to ask.

They all said they were busy, and that’s when Kaoru started to get nervous.

He asked his five backups. Two were busy, and the other three just read the message and never even responded.

Kaoru decided he could work with that. It wasn’t _that_ weird to ask a guy if guys were his only option. It was perfectly normal to ask one of your friends to go with you to make a girl like you. The only weird part would be that it was on Valentine’s Day, and they’d be fake dating.

Well, if it was in pursuit of a girl, then it was fine. Right?

Kaoru asked Rei first, obviously. Rei was attractive. Kaoru was attractive, too, and the both of them standing next to each other was almost too attractive to handle. If there was a girl letting everyone in, then they’d surely get in based off of looks alone.

But Rei was busy.

And after that, Kaoru really didn’t have a plan. He was counting on Rei being free. He quickly ran through a list of his classmates in his head and immediately decided he would rather die than go with any of them. He supposed Chiaki or Izumi would be okay, but Chiaki would probably ham it up too much, and Izumi would probably complain too much.

_Don’t be silly, Kaoru,_ he thought to himself. _You and I both know Izumi’s probably off stalking that one kid, anyway._

He thought of the other class, too, but he didn’t really think anyone in the other class would agree to help him. Maybe Nazuna would at first, but Nazuna would probably yell at him for using someone to get to a girl. And Kanata… Well, Kanata was just weird. Kanata would probably walk right up to the girl and expose Kaoru’s whole plan.

Those musings, Kaoru would learn, were the beginning of the end of his life as he knew it.

Kaoru thought as he walked down the hallway. It was after school, and he didn’t have anything better to do. He had just been thinking about wandering to another hallway and seeing if someone in one of the normal Yumenosaki courses would want to go with him when someone ran into him at full speed.

“I deeply apologize! I did not—” Souma cut himself off as soon as he saw exactly who he ran into. “Shouldn’t you be doing something useful with your existence?”

“I’m glad to see you, too,” Kaoru said flatly. “Yeah, I’m doing wonderful. Thanks for asking.”

“I did not ask.”

And _that_ was when Kaoru knew exactly what to do.

“Hey, are you doing anything tomorrow?” Kaoru asked. “Like, after school? Is there a meeting for our club? Or do you have practice or something?”

Souma crossed his arms. “I feel as if whatever answer I give will not change whatever action you are going to take next.”

“Okay, so here’s the deal. I skip everything after school like I always do, and you skip everything after school tomorrow like you never do. We pretend to be dating so we can get into a nice café, and…” After quick, careful deliberation, Kaoru decided to omit the last bit of his plan. “And that’s it. We both get to enjoy a nice café. It’s a win-win.”

“A win-win? I’d have to spend time with you. I’d hardly call that a win,” Souma said.

“You’re doing it right now.”

Souma narrowed his eyes. “Why me, anyway?”

“Because.” Kaoru flinched as Souma’s glare grew more intense, inferring that that wasn’t a sufficient answer. “Everyone else was busy.” He left it at that.

“And you assume I’m not?”

“Well, out of all the guys I know, you seem least likely to have a girlfriend.”

Souma rolled his eyes and pushed past Kaoru. Their arms had only just brushed before Kaoru started to panic. Souma was his last chance, and he wasn’t about to let that escape. He whipped around, grabbing Souma by the wrist.

Souma struggled, and Kaoru wondered if he somehow managed to be stronger than the boy. “Unhand me!”

“Please, Souma-kun?” Kaoru asked. It was as close to begging as he’s ever been. “If you go with me, I will do anything you want.”

At that, Souma stopped squirming. “Anything?”

Kaoru nodded.

“Fine.”

A wave of relief washed over Kaoru. Now that Souma’s agreed, he really could say anything, and Souma would still be bound to his promise. After all, he seemed like the type who would say he’d do something in passing and really mean it anyway. And even if he forgot, he’d probably try to commit seppuku.

Actually, Kaoru was almost certain that actually happened before.

“I think to be more convincing, you should crossdress,” Kaoru said. Souma’s eyes widened, but Kaoru tightened his grip. “That way we’re not two guys going together, and it’s easier for me to picture dating you. You’d be cute if you were a girl, anyway.”

“I take everything I said back.” With one great pull, Souma freed himself. “You’ll be lucky if anyone decides to spend more than five minutes with you. Goodbye.”

And with that, Souma left. And Kaoru really wasn’t sure if Souma was serious or not.

-—-

Souma wasn’t paranoid.

It was just that he’d never said he’d do something and then _not_ done it. So it made him a little nervous when he rejected Kaoru right after he’d accepted. Okay, more than a little nervous. It made him so nervous that he _did_ skip everything he had after school, and he ended up following Kaoru to the café from a carefully calculated distance. And he watched as Kaoru stood outside alone for a bit before he just felt plain bad and walked up to him.

“No skirt?” Kaoru asked, and Souma contemplated leaving.

“Can we just make this quick?” Souma glanced towards the café. It seemed pretty busy. He noticed that every single table had only two chairs on either side, and it made his heart pound. He’d have to be out in the open, pretending to date _Kaoru_.

“Sure.” Kaoru smiled as he held the door open. “I know you took time out of your busy schedule to go out with me. I’m glad you love me so much that you’d skip practice for me, sweetheart.”

Souma’s cheeks burned at the nickname. He really hoped Kaoru wouldn’t use it the whole time because it made him feel all sorts of weird. Really, all sorts of weird. Kaoru was undeniably attractive, even if Souma didn’t want to admit it. But he tried to compose himself, and he took a deep breath before he tried to play along. “Yes! It is definitely because I love you so much. That is why I’m here.”

Acting was never his strong suit.

Kaoru looked at him strangely, and Souma didn’t think he had any right to because _he_ was the one who was reeling him in to suspicious plans! Souma didn’t know why Kaoru had such an urgent need to get into this café, but he was sure the purpose was malicious. Purposes are always malicious with ne’er-do-wells anyway.

“I’m not getting anything,” Souma said as they sat down. He had only barely glanced at the menu, but maybe Kaoru lured him here to poison him. Kaoru didn’t really have a reason to be poisoning Souma, but it was still a possibility.

“Why not? The food is good here.” Kaoru looked around. “We’ll look like we’re getting divorced if you don’t.”

“Does it look like we’re married in the first place?”

“Well, no, but—”

“I don’t have money,” Souma snapped. It was a complete lie, but maybe the topic would be dropped.

Kaoru shrugged. “I’ll pay.”

  
  


“You’re here to gain attention from that woman?” Souma asked in a harsh whisper as soon as the sweet waitress, Rin, walked away. “By using me?”

“It sounds harsh when you say that I’m _using_ you.” Kaoru pouted as if he was doing anything _but_ using Souma. “But essentially.”

“You’re a fool!” Souma didn’t know why he felt a little hurt because he shouldn’t like Kaoru in the slightest. “If you are supposed to be in a committed relationship with me, then why are you flirting with her so openly? She’ll think you’re unfaithful. Is that the impression you’re trying to give off?”

Kaoru blinked a few times, and Souma saw realization slowly reach his eyes. “You’re right!” And with that Kaoru reached over the table and grabbed Souma’s hand. “If I just keep doing this and stare at you the whole time, we’ll probably look like newlyweds.”

Souma swallowed a bit thickly, but he let Kaoru hold his hand. He looked down for a second before looking back up, and the softness in Kaoru’s gray eyes made him blush. He really was good at this… It was no wonder girls liked him so much.

“Don’t be shy,” Kaoru said, lowering his voice. “Everyone’s too caught up with each other to be staring at us.”

_Then why are you so concerned with keeping up the image?_ Souma wondered, and he really wanted to ask Kaoru that, but he really couldn’t find the words to do it. There was something about the Kaoru he saw now that made him short-circuit, and he even found himself a little sad when Kaoru stopped looking at him and glanced just past him instead.

“She’s coming. I’m going to touch you,” Kaoru said. “Don’t push away. Just laugh or something.”

Before Souma knew it, Kaoru had reached across the table to start twirling a piece of Souma’s hair around his finger. A smile rose to his face naturally, and even though he hated how _fluttery_ he felt, he had to help Kaoru. Maybe if Kaoru got his girl, then Souma would be able to forget about the whole thing.

Kaoru glanced just past Souma’s face. He straightened up, and Souma assumed Rin was approaching them. “No, I love you more!”

“I—I—” Souma couldn’t get the words out. He was trying, but it was incredibly difficult with how… how Kaoru just was. All of it.

“Aren’t you two sweet?” Rin smiled as she approached the table. She brought a large glass with her, filled with a creamy pink liquid. Two pink and white striped straws barely peaked out from the mountain of whipped cream they were buried in. “This is one of our Valentine’s specials. I know you were super interested in it, Kaoru-kun!”

Kaoru shot her a dazzling smile. Souma had to look away as he spoke. “Thank you so much. I think you might be the sweetest thing in the café.”

Rin giggled, waving him off as she floated to her next table. Souma looked up to see Kaoru chasing her with his eyes. It was a little unfair. He _shouldn’t_ feel jealous, or really much of anything, but after having those eyes on him, Souma never wanted them to leave.

Kaoru finally directed his attention back at their table. He took his straw from the drink, using it to scoop up the whipped cream. Slowly, he licked it off before going back for more. As he gathered more whipped cream, his eyes drifted upwards and met Souma’s.

“You can have some,” Kaoru said, nodding to the drink. “We’re on a date, you know? What kind of boyfriend would I be if you weren’t allowed to have any?”

_That wasn’t the problem_ , Souma thought, even as he leaned in and sipped the drink. It was a nice, smooth blend of strawberry and banana. Very sweet. If Souma were to assign a flavor to falling in love, it might be that.

“You like whipped cream.” Souma meant for it to be a question, but it came out as a statement. Maybe he was nervous. It wasn’t real; he shouldn’t be nervous.

Kaoru tilted his head just slightly. “Oh! Yeah. Sorry, did you want some?” He smiled, a little bashfully like he’d been caught. “I have a bit of a sweet tooth. When I eat pancakes, I always pile on whipped cream.”

Souma nodded sagely. He sipped the drink again. “I have… never really understood the appeal.”

“Fair,” Kaoru said. “But you should try this one. It’s really good.”

Souma hesitated, but Kaoru was looking at him so _hopefully_ that he was picking up his straw to try it before he even knew it. He did as Kaoru had done, carefully balancing the straw so the whipped cream wouldn’t fall on the pink tablecloth.

It _was_ good. Souma couldn’t eat a ton of it like Kaoru had been doing, but he could admit that it was some of the best whipped cream he’d tasted. He opened his mouth to say so, too, when Kaoru was reaching over the table, taking Souma’s chin in his hand. His thumb brushed the corner of his mouth, almost catching on his lip.

Souma froze, and Kaoru did, too. The blond shrunk back, almost, looking down at his straw, abandoned on his napkin.

“You had whipped cream on your face,” Kaoru mumbled, wiping his thumb on his pants. “Sorry.”

“I-I—” Souma looked away from Kaoru when he glanced up at him. He couldn’t finish his sentence.

-—-

The next few minutes were agonizing.

Kaoru didn’t know what to say. He really didn’t mean to touch Souma so suddenly. But it was like an instinct, like he _had_ to. Souma just had the kind of face that made you want to help him out all the time. He had that personality that made Kaoru want to protect him. Not like Souma needed protecting, but it was… Well, it was different than any other feelings Kaoru had ever had for a guy.

He picked off more of the whipped cream as he racked his brain for something to say. Not even a clever quip was coming to him, and it had been enough time that he wasn’t sure if it’d be appropriate to comment on that touch still. And the whipped cream was running out, so Kaoru took a sip instead, hoping he wouldn’t reach for it at the same time as Souma.

(He could imagine it now. Both of them leaning in until their noses nearly touched, until their breaths mingled, and maybe they’d look at each other. They’d freeze for a moment, and Kaoru would probably look at Souma’s lips. Souma had nice lips.)

He was staring.

“It’s good!” Kaoru said, a little too loud. “I mean, I expected it to be good. But it’s really good.”

Souma seemed to soften a little bit. “I agree. It has a really nice texture to it, too. I expected it to perhaps be a bit grainy, but it was extremely smooth.”

Kaoru smiled and nodded. He was about to say something when Rin appeared next to their table again, sporting the biggest grin as she balanced the tray on her hand.

Right. Kaoru almost forgot why he was here.

“Rin-chan!” he said, smiling, but his heart wasn’t in it. “Have you gotten prettier since I last saw you?”

Rin laughed. She slid a small bowl in front of Souma and a sleek slice of cake in front of Kaoru. He trusted her judgement and told her to surprise them, so he was a little curious as to what the cake was.

“Enjoy!” Rin chimed. She touched Kaoru’s shoulder lightly as she walked away.

Yeah, Kaoru really wasn’t into it anymore.

And that was worrying. Because what was he supposed to do now? What if Souma asked about her in a few days’ time, and Kaoru had to tell him the truth? And it was even more worrying because _he_ was the reason.

Kaoru cleared his throat. Now it felt like he really was on a date. He wondered if Souma felt that way, too. The boy was currently scooping up some ice cream on his spoon. It was bright red, and Souma looked a little wary.

“I’ll switch with you if you hate it,” Kaoru blurted, already pushing his plate towards Souma. “I haven’t taken a bite out of mine yet. I won’t until you try yours.”

Souma glanced between Kaoru and the desserts a few times. He placed the spoon in his mouth. He had such an intense look of concentration as he tasted the ice cream. He looked cute, honestly, and all Kaoru wanted to know was what was going through his head.

“It is too sweet for me,” Souma decided. “But perhaps you’d like it. With your sweet tooth and all.”

Kaoru almost felt fluttery at that. Like, _wow, he remembered!_ even though it was more like _of course_ he remembered. Kaoru only mentioned it less than twenty minutes ago. If he didn’t remember, then it’d be weird, but wow, he remembered.

They switched desserts. The ice cream was almost overwhelmingly sweet, flooding Kaoru’s mouth with cherry. There was a bit of a sour-tasting syrup drizzled over it. The flavors should have crashed. Sour and sweet were typically opposite, always against each other as if they were in a war. But right now, they complemented each other beautifully. Kaoru didn’t want it to end.

He watched as Souma concentrated on the flavor of the cake again, looking much more satisfied as he swallowed it. He made a soft hum as he took another bite, looking at Kaoru with the most gentle smile on his face.

Kaoru really didn’t want this to end.

  


“Do you wanna hold my hand?” Kaoru asked as they stood.

The rest of their trip went smoothly. It was actually pretty easy to talk to Souma. Souma liked to talk about his work and the horses at his house and how plastic straws were hurting the sea turtles, among other marine life. Kaoru was content to listen for once, and occasionally things started going over his head, and he got a little lost. But Souma looked so animated as he spoke, and he was sure others were staring. Unlike Kaoru, Souma didn’t seem to care that people were looking at him.

“I believe we should,” Souma said, nodding. “Wouldn’t it look a little odd not to touch each other after a nice date?”

“A nice date, huh…” It made Kaoru smile. Even if it was just Souma playing along, it was nice to hear that he thought their fake date was nice. He reached for Souma’s hand as they headed for the door, their fingers tangling together a bit awkwardly.

Souma’s hand was really nice to hold. Really nice. His hand was calloused but held Kaoru’s so gently he felt like he was made of glass. It was an oddly nice sort of feeling. It distracted him from the sideways glances and scoffs as they walked down the sidewalk.

They stopped a few blocks down from the café. Kaoru was reluctant to let go of Souma, but it seemed like the other felt the same way, but Kaoru knew he could only keep holding on for so long before Souma snapped at him and it broke the small connection they had.

Kaoru let go. Souma let his hand fall to his side. And now Kaoru’s hand felt so uncomfortably empty that all he could think to do was shove it in his pocket.

“Thanks,” Kaoru said. He couldn’t bear to look at Souma; he’d never want to look away. “For coming with me and stuff. I promise I’ll make it up to you.”

“Okay,” Souma said. His voice wavered a bit, and Kaoru just barely stole a glance before Souma was turning and walking away.

  


Surprisingly, things returned to normal.

Well, normal with a dash of emptiness. Kaoru really wanted to see Souma again, but it seemed like Souma was making himself busy. Their schedules didn't typically line up in such a way that they’d end up running into each other, but even when Kaoru showed up at a club meeting, Souma didn’t seem to think anything had changed.

That sucked. It really sucked. Kaoru thought maybe, _maybe_ they could have had something. Souma was so happy on their fake date. But maybe it was just part of the act. It had to be, actually, because there was no way Souma was interested in guys like Kaoru. Let alone guys, period.

So regrettably, Kaoru went back to his usual routine. Going on dates with girls, screwing around campus after classes ended if there were no dates to be had. None of the dates carried the same spark as the date with Souma did. It was truly disappointing. Rin hadn’t ever called him, either. Even when he tried to text her, she hadn’t responded, and he knew she probably thought it was weird that he was with Souma. So Kaoru was trying his _hardest_ to get his mind off of Souma, but all these “normal” dates did was conjure up memories from Valentine’s Day.

He hadn’t been doing much when he ran into Souma. He was wandering the halls aimlessly, trying to see which of his friends he’d find first. It was fun, sometimes, to go to his friends’ clubs after school. He liked supporting them (or teasing them, when Kaoru would find himself watching Koga and Rei argue in Light Music Club), and it was nice seeing everyone in their elements. It made him wonder if anyone would want to go see him if he actually went to Marine Bio Club meetings, and that was when he met Souma. Just at the corner of an empty hallway, just like it all started.

“H-Hakaze-dono!” Souma said, nearly shouted, clasping his hands in front of him. He didn’t seem to know what to do next, as he was halfway into a bow before he straightened up.

“Hey,” Kaoru said, wanting to keep as cool as possible. He didn’t want to make things weird, especially if Souma had just begun to at least tolerate him. “How’s it going?”

“Um, very well, actually. I was just heading to—” Souma stopped himself, crossing his arms. “Don’t tell me you have another proposition for me.”

Kaoru laughed, shaking his head. “No way. I promise. I was just making conversation.”

“That… That’s good. I actually have a proposition for you.” He shifted back and forth a bit. “You said that you would do anything, correct? In exchange for me going with you the other day?

Kaoru raised an eyebrow. What could Souma possibly want from him? It wasn’t like Kaoru had a special skill or anything. Unless surfing counted. Did Souma want to learn how to surf? He’d probably be good at it. Souma was always graceful, always in control. Perfect qualities for a surfer. Kaoru could handle that. He might internally combust a little, seeing Souma shirtless, but he could handle giving surfing lessons. And then they’d never have to see each other again, and Kaoru could work on trying to get over it.

“Mhm. Anything,” Kaoru confirmed.

Souma steeled himself, looking directly into Kaoru’s eyes. “Let’s do something like that again sometime.”

Kaoru felt like his heart had stopped. He was just staring at Souma, mouth hanging open a little, wondering if that whole exchange was _real_. He must have been staring for too long because now Souma was looking away, even backing away slightly.

“I apologize if you didn’t envision anything further after that day,” Souma mumbled. He looked away from Kaoru, down the hallway, probably trying to see how far away he could run. Souma seemed like the type to run away after saying something embarrassing.

“But,” Souma continued, “I really did have a nice time, even though the circumstances were… how they were.”

“No, no, yeah, I want that, too,” was the only thing Kaoru could get out, hyperaware of how stupid he sounded. “We can do that again. We can definitely do that again.”

Now Souma looked like the one in disbelief. His lasted a lot shorter than Kaoru’s, and he broke into a smile.

“Wonderful! Are you free on Saturday? Perhaps we could go to another café or something. Is that acceptable?”

“Yeah!” Kaoru couldn’t wipe the smile off of his face, either. “That sounds great.”

They chatted a little more, quickly working out logistics and whatnot before Souma had to get to practice. Kaoru had gone a few paces forward before stopping again, probably looking like a fool in an empty hallway, happily staring at Souma’s contact info in his phone.

_Now_ he had something to look forward to.

**Author's Note:**

> thanks for reading!! i hope you liked it!!!!
> 
> please check out [my twitter!](https://twitter.com/mezzosaka)


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